Oh High School...

I am just coming in from the community where I’ve been working on my Sex Ed project with the high schools and thought I’d write down my thoughts and share them with you all.

It is incredibly taboo to talk about anything related to sex or sexuality here (the more rural you go, the more true this statement is). Yet Ecuador has the highest teenage pregnancy rate in South America and is second in all of Latin America only to Honduras—Chimborazo (the province I live and work in) has the highest teen pregnancy rate in Ecuador. This fact has sparked a dialogue about the importance of non-abstinence only sex education. Some people are embracing it, and more and more educators are including it in their curricula. They just don’t know where to start since they themselves are uncomfortable about the subject and don’t really know that much about the subject. That is where I come in. No, I’m not teaching Ecuadorian teenagers how to have sex. I am teaching teenagers how to make wise life decisions so that they can fulfill their dreams and live the happy, full lives that they deserve to live, saving the whole childbearing/being a parent plan for when they are good and ready to have a family. Part of making wise life decisions as a teenager is protecting your self from an unwanted pregnancy, STD and any of the other consequences for irresponsibility. More than anything, I teach that each person has to make their own decisions and that every single decision has consequences. Our little motto is “My life is in my hands.”

I’m working on this project in 3 of the community high schools. In the community of Silveria, they actually already have sex ed teachers (a girl and a guy) so I kind of just observed them at first to see their method. I can tell you, if I were one of those kids I wouldn’t want to talk about sex with these teachers either. It was terrifying. Basically, the teacher just gets up and orders them what to do with their sex lives (which I do have to say, at least it’s not abstinence only education, being ordered to use a condom is probably just as effective as abstinence only education). These two teachers asked me to help them not necessarily with their kids (although, the woman teacher did ask me to help her out with some of the technical parts of her lectures since she is really a history teacher by trade) but rather to work with the parents. The parents in this particular community are outraged that their kids are learning about this stuff (even though it is now Ecuadorian law that all schools must have a non-abstinence only sex ed program). There are 2 reasons for this that the sex ed teachers, the school director and I have postulated: The first reason is that the parents think that if the kids learn about this stuff they will go out and do it. This is bad reasoning on several accounts, A. Just because kids are curious doesn’t mean they want to experiment and B. THEY ARE ALREADY DOING IT!! except they are doing it without any idea what the consequences are or how to protect themselves. Silveria is one of the worst communities for teenage pregnancy (and young teenage pregnancy at that)—already 3, 14 year-old girls have gotten pregnant this school year alone. The second reason the parents are against it is because they themselves don’t know what’s going on. We encourage the kids to ask their parents when they have questions. But 14 years ago, their parents were the pregnant 14 year-olds not knowing what they were doing. They have the same amount of knowledge of the subject as their kids do…they’re just 8 kids later in the cycle. We’ve had some scheduling issues, but we are planning to have a parent workshop series first addressing why their kids need to learn about this and then teaching the parents the same information so that when their kids to ask them questions they have more to say than “We don’t ask questions about such things” or worse punished them for asking. I’d like to work with the teachers too because even when the kids ask their teachers, the teachers tell the parents what their kids were asking and they get in trouble at home.

I also recently started workshops in Pueblo Viejo. I only go their every 2 weeks also, but unlike Silveria there is no Sex Ed teacher, so I’m it. Since I just do sex ed with them and we just started we’re still building trust and they were a little rowdy and disrespectful…but I think they’ve got potential.

Which brings me to Huanca…Every Wednesday for about the past month and a half I have been going to the high school in a community called Huanca Pallaguchi. I wake up at 5:00am to catch the van with the teachers in order to be at school by 7:30 when classes start. The van has seats to comfortably fit 12 people. With me there are 20 teachers in this one van traveling the windy, muddy and steep road to get to the community (one of the highest and most remote of all the communities). I go to Huanca every week instead of every 2 weeks because I also teach English (I switch between English and Sex ed every week). The teachers are really great and each one has given me an hour of their time so I teach 5 classes a day (which is a lot, but I really like it). I did my first lesson as English. I didn’t want to come in and shock these poor kids talking about sexuality when they didn’t even know me. They were really excited about learning English and talking with a native speaker. The next week when I came, they still wanted to do English and were really bummed that we had to learn about sex ed. But we did sex ed anyways, talking about what is sexuality and the role it plays in each and every person’s life (nothing too intense). So I continued with this English/sex ed cycle for a few weeks. Last week we started getting into some pretty heavy stuff—talking about penises and vaginas and all that good stuff. I did this with my first 3 classes. But then for some strange reason, half of the teachers weren’t there so basically the kids had the afternoon free. I thought this is silly and decided to take advantage of it. Since it was a nice day I agreed that we could have class outside picnic style. It actually worked out perfectly. I called all the high schoolers together and said “let’s just chat”.

First and foremost, I said that we were going to make a Safe Space, meaning that anything we, especially things that the students themselves said, would stay in our little picnic. I wouldn’t run off and tell their parents nor go spill to their teachers. It was also a place free from judgment, meaning no matter how silly, embarrassing or controversial the question, every person was to be treated with respect. This was just a conversation between me and them. And the most important thing is that even though we were discussing a serious topic, we could still have fun with it. I remember the first time I said the word “penis” I saw one of my kids face just blow up. He wanted to giggle so badly but thought he would be punished. I just smiled and said, “By all means laugh.” The whole class went into an uproar of laughter. They had never been told that it is ok to laugh when they feel uncomfortable by these words. This gave me an idea…I decided to play the Penis game with them (you know, that really immature game where you basically just scream penis and other “bad” words loudly and repeatedly). As it turns out, after screaming penis, vagina and the like about 100 times at the top of your lungs, they aren’t quite as funny.

After our little promise of making a Safe Space and laughing for a good 15 minutes about how funny it is to say “penis”, we were able to start the second part of our sex ed class. As most 13-17 are, these kids were really shy to ask questions out loud, so I handed out index cards so that they could anonymously ask intimate questions without being embarrassed. We had just had an hour long lecture on how the reproductive process works, so the topic was fresh in their heads. The kids had really great questions. And I answered them honestly, yet professionally. To my surprise, after we had finished with the first round of questions, they wanted more index cards to ask more questions. A few of the other teachers came over too. Once they saw what we were doing, they asked for some index cards too. We sat there for a good 2 and a half hours going back and forth with questions—and they had such great questions. It made me realize that even though COCACH has done workshops with these kids (and the teachers) in the past, they’ve never really had the opportunity to ask real questions without fear of being judged or reprimanded since sexuality is so suppressed here. To finish up the day, I made sure to emphasize that each person is responsible for their own life and they are at the age where the decisions they make have consequences—serious consequences—and not just in the form of an unwanted pregnancy or STD. So we talked a little bit about making wise decisions both in general and concerning their sexuality. The students all agreed that they would like to do more activities in the future so help them better understand how they can make wise life decisions—especially in terms of sex and relationships.

Today I had English planned. But when I walked into my first classroom the kids all said, “No!!! Señorita Krista, please can we talk more about sexuality?!” This happened in each of the 5 classes that I went to. I was shocked. These same kids who had been terrified to have sex ed just a few weeks ago and were super into learning English, were not only open to talking about sexuality but REQUESTING it over the English classes that they so badly wanted before. We ended up having English class (I didn’t come prepared for sex ed today) but they are all eagerly waiting for next Wednesday to come.

Sorry if that was way too much information for some of you. I really never would have guessed it considering how little I talked about sexuality before I came to Peace Corps, but I am absolutely loving the work I do with these kids. It means that I basically have talk about sex all day long, but these kids (and even the teachers!) literally have no one else to talk to about this stuff. And I feel (hope?) it’s making some kind of an impact. Today one of my girls came up to me and asked a very personal question about her life and how she could get birth control. I was touched by this on several levels 1. She is actually listening and wants to put into practice what we’ve been talking about and 2. She trusts me enough to address me face-to-face about what’s going on in her life. Hopefully that’s a success indicator??? I don’t know.

My project with my moms is going alright…but I’ll save that story for another day. I feel I’ve already written far more than anyone wants to read.

I also have tons of fun travels to tell you about. But, again, I will save those for another day.

I hope all is well at home!!! I miss everyone so much. (And sorry there are no pictures in this update...these are just my thought so far)